I was speaking with a friend of mine a few weeks back and she shared with me some disturbing information. She was looking to by some undergarments for her daughter who is a young teenager. She was browsing on JcPenny’s website to where she could not believe her eyes. When she sent me the link, I was shocked as well. JcPenny was advertising underwear for young teenage girls such as “Flirtitude push up bras and lace bikini thongs.” Are you kidding me? Help me understand why would young teenage girls need push up bras with a flirty look to them? What purpose would it serve outside of the obvious? Also, why would young teenage girls need lace bikini thongs? What is the emphasis behind this sort of marketing? What is sad, is not only are they marketing it, but how young teenage girls will flock to purchase them, and possibly some adults, who think it would be cute to buy them for their daughters.
This is what our society has become. A society that sees success is only attainable when sex or sex appeal is involved. Companies use commercials with half dressed women, in an attempt to sell their product, which by the way does no service. Men are so busy looking at the woman only to forget what the commercial was really about. Music videos especially rap ones; have women parading around in clothes where part of the apparel is clearly lost in crevices. The reality shows that show more skin than clothes. Majority of the drama shows has some form of intimate scenes that are borderline soft porn, and the message that all of this portrays is that it is acceptable for women to behave in this manner. Young women are no longer focusing on keeping a reputation that points to chastity, but more showing signs that sex is possible depending on what the man can offer. Whatever happened to respect? Whatever happened to dignity? What worth is being expressed from these young girls nowadays? My goodness. I remember as a young man, you can tell if a girl was holding even if she was revealing little. I remember how exciting it was to imagine how she would look without clothes. No, my mind should not have been there, but it caused me to focus more on who the girl was based on her character and not on how much flesh was revealed. Nowadays, everything is out. No room for imagination. Young boys are able to see what these young girls have, and that is their focus. These young girls have come to the conclusion that a boy would like them based on how skimpy the outfits they are wearing and not by the content of their conversation, which in some cases, that too is in jeopardy.
In the book of 1 Peter, the Apostle was addressing women to negate the things that give weight to their character by outer means, but strengthening that of the inner. He stated “Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel--rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” (1 Pet 3:3-4) This is so important because it speaks not only how a woman should behave via her appearance, but also what type of message is she putting out there. Would the man only be drawn to them based off of their goods, or would he be drawn to her spirit and the aura she displays?
Young girls are not being taught the way of old and have fallen into situations that their minds are not prepared for. It is our responsibility to instruct these young girls better than how they have been taught. The bible states “older women be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things-- that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” (Tit 2:3-5) Sadly, you have mature women behaving like the teenagers, and mothers being a friend to their daughters instead of being a parent. This is hurtful and it is damaging, not only to the young women now, but also to the generations that follow. A change is needed yesterday. Amen!
This is such a huge issue with out young girls today. The message they are getting is that they are not worth anything.. they do not have any self worth.. they are here for one reason only to satisfy a man’s flesh.. These message can come from their own mothers, sisters, aunt, TV, friends, etc. The clothes they have in the store for the little girls are just crazy. It seems like they get more revealing each summer. They don’t what it is to be a virgin pass age 12.. This is what society is teaching our girls.
ReplyDeleteYou are also correct about the parents. Parents need to stop being friends with their children and start being a parent. what are the mothers doing about it. You have mothers that are dressing younger than their teenagers. You have mothers that ever 3 months have a new man in her life, in her home.. what is this saying to your young daughters.. that this kind of behavior is ok? That its ok to sleep with whoever can buy you things or take you places. Where is the value in this.
young girls who cant be with a man, therefore they settle for less. Girls who think if they have to sleep with their boyfriend in order to keep them. (Where is there self worth?)
How do we help these girls? We help them by teaching them, by being an example for them. By letting, them see that there is another way. By loving them and guiding them. Teaching the how to love themselves.
JJ
JJ, after reading your response it makes me sad, on how right you are. This issue need to be seen as an epidemic. If it is seen as something so dire, all resources will be focused on providing a swift solution. Thank you for your post.
ReplyDeletePart 1
ReplyDeleteMinister Notice...I love your blog and I think your messages are great...but I'm gonna have to let you have it TODAY. LOL!
OMG let me get in on this because you have missed it my dear friend. I don't disagree with everything you said...but the point is badly lost and your message seems way too simple and cut and dry when what we are dealing with is far deeper and more complicated then this...which was my point in the other blog about women picking the wrong guys and staying with them.
Teach our young girls to respect them selves and not reveal so much so the men can respect their minds huh? If only it were so easy. Sure what the parents teach their kids is VERY important. But there is sooo much more. You have to remember that every single time they turn on the t.v. from the tv shows, to the commercials to even the NEWS. Take a look..the women are mostly model types and the men are fat, balding and ugly. The commercials tell the women to change their hair, change their body...put on more make-up and get plastic surgery. I am a football FANATIC and all the commercials are aimed at men...because there aren't as many women out there like me so we aren't their target audience. The commercials ARE soft porn...plain and simple. But why? WHY? Why are these commercials like this? If the woman is not the target audience..and the man is... then what do these marketers know and acknowledge that the average household does NOT acknowledge? They are not pushing something on these guys that they do not want. They are only appealing to what they KNOW these men want. These men want SEX and naked women!!!
You say teach the girls...I say sure...but TEACH THE BOYS MORE! These girls would not dress this way if it weren't for the guys and I'll explain why.
These girls grow up with their fathers GONE...gone gone. Where did he go? Well... perhaps he went off to chase that stripper he was cheating on her mother with. What ever it is...it's about feeding his own desires and abandoning his children and their mother. What do you think he most likely told that woman to get her in bed in the first place? He probably told her he loved her and wanted to be with her...she turns up pregnant and he turns away. The little girl is left seeing that her mother must not have been attractive enough to hold on to her man, the girls father. The son grows up learning that he has NO responsibilities in life. HE can sleep with a womand and MOVE ON.
Then there are the divorced fathers. They see their kids every other weekend and every other major holiday. When he has the kids does he teach them life lessons? NO! He's too busy taking them to waterparks and the zoo because he is trying to win their affection and too scared to be a real dad for fear they won't like him. While the kids are there they accidently come across their dad's porn stash. Well...this is what their dad likes. The girl internalizes...this is what dad likes. My mom doesn't look this way...or maybe she does because she's trying to get a man and she has to because this is what they LIKE...and it IS...remeber...the marketing team for the commercials during the football game are only making commercials that they know will appeal to their audience. They don't spend all that money making commercials to turn the guy away...they want his attention..and THEY GET IT!
Then there are the fathers that are married to their mother and are in the house. Maybe he has his own porn stash. Maybe the kids see him as his eyes catch the butt of some woman as she walks by or the cleavage of some waitress as she bends to put down the food. Maybe he quickly changes the channel as the little girl inters the room thinking his daughter didn't see what her father was watching...but she DID...and so did the son. Maybe the kids hear their father tell the mother...why don't you fix your self up more when she's working her butt off to not only raise her children but to bring money into the house. She's put on weight from having their babies and she's tired. She couldn't care less about putting on make-up and making her self look the way she did to get her man in the first place. She wrongly trusts that she has him and that things are fine...but behind the scenes he's getting his kicks from t.v. movies and magazines...oh, and the commercials made specifically for HIM!
ReplyDeleteThe PROBLEM is the FATHER. He's not there and if he is he's not doing what he should. He's not sheilding his eyes from the half naked woman. He's still INTERESTED. I do believe the word says some things about lust...does it NOT??? He's not agressively TEACHING his SON that they are to respect women. They are to treat them well and not try and get in their pants. They are to WAIT...YEAH...HOW ABOUT THAT??? They are To WAIT for marriage to have sex just like SHE IS!!!! They are not leading by example and loving their wives even when she's tired and homely lookin. They are not turning their heads when some naked woman comes on the screen or turning the channel. They are not showing their children that they LOVE their mother for who she is and not what she looks like. It is the fathers job to train the BOYS by example and by their WORDS... RESPECT WOMEN!
These girls want to be LOVED! They don't want to dress like sluts. Trust me...thongs are NOT comfortable. You think those highheeled shoes are??? We go through the agony of looking "good" because that is what we must do to get the man's attention. Let's RETRAIN our BOYS what is good and acceptable before God and towards a family. Let's raise the boys to appreciate a woman... a REAL woman!
This message you've given is the same tired message I have heard over and over and over until I just want to pull my hair out. It is badly misguided. The woman is doing what she's doing becuase just like the markeing team...she knows her audience and she knows that THIS is what it takes to get HIS attention!!!!
Onamission
Anonymous, I thank you for the post and actually Teach the youth (Males) is tomorrow. I would like for you to consider this part of lesson "Young girls are not being taught the way of old and have fallen into situations that their minds are not prepared for. It is our responsibility to instruct these young girls better than how they have been taught."
ReplyDeleteNo matter what they went through, no matter how deep the hurt, no matter what the circumstance. You have what they are going through, and you have a solution to bring them out. The root of the solution is to be taught different what ever they know now. What is taught and how is taught depends on an individual basis.
So after finishing reading part 2 of your message it is clear you assumed that I was not going to address the males. I disagree with your statement that my messages are misguided, because what I put forth is what thus saith the Lord. This is your statement "woman is doing what she's doing becuase just like the markeing team...she knows her audience and she knows that THIS is what it takes to get HIS attention!!!!" No matter what the reason why she is doing this, she needs to be taught different. MY lesson was not to be seen as a full blown solution, but to identify with a problem, and work on fixing it. The key word here is "work" and the start of that is proper teaching.
ReplyDeleteWith all do respect...unless your postings are ONLY scripture...it is not "what thus saith the Lord." And even if you are quoting scripture it may still not be what "thus saith the Lord" it could be what thus saith Paul or Peter or whomever else is being quoted. Also...what is being quoted could be taken out of context and used in a way not intended by the author. I'm not saying you would do that. I'm just saying that when you interject your own writing and opinions...which each and every one of your blogs are...it is no longer what "thus saith the Lord" it is then what thus said Minister Notice coupled WITH what thus said the Lord.
ReplyDeleteI have a great deal of respect for you and I enjoy reading and hearing what you have to say and most of the time... I agree. But with this one... I'm not fully on board. As I stated, I am not in complete disagreement either.
Yes girls have to be taught. But consider this. I grew up in a holiness penecostal church where the women were taught and made to wear long dresses, no make-up or jewlry and we could not cut our hair. We didn't go around looking like sluts...but guess what happended when we "I" went to school. We were made fun of and we were NOT attractive to the boys. The only way my friends and I could get boys to like us was to sneak out and some how get a pair of jeans and some make-up and THEN and only then would these boys look at us and talk to us. They didn't care how smart or funny we were. They wanted us to look good! You can "teach" these girls at home until you are blue in the face...but when she walks out of your home and into the real world and drives down the road to see strip clubs on the corner and half naked girls on tv and in the magazines and are around boys that won't give them the time of day until they make them selves up like the girls in the movies...your teaching that is directed at the girls goes right out the window. This is not because teaching girls is unimportant...it's because it is only half the story and it has been taught. It's been taught and taught. What has NEVER been taught is what thus saith the Lord to the BOYS! There is a demand that the marketers and the women are supplying... change what these boys are demanding and every thing else will fall in line. THAT is MY point!
Onamission
Allow me to follow up with an example of what I mean. Here is a line from your post.
ReplyDelete"Majority of the drama shows has some form of intimate scenes that are borderline soft porn, and the message that all of this portrays is that it is acceptable for women to behave in this manner. Young women are no longer focusing on keeping a reputation that points to chastity, but more showing signs that sex is possible depending on what the man can offer."
This is an example of what thus saith Minister Notice. You say that these ads and shows tell girls that it is acceptable for them to dress this way and act this way. Well, since I am a woman let me tell you what it tells me. It does not tell me at all that it is acceptable. I'm not watching thinking to my self, "geez I really would like to wear a string up my butt or itchy scratchy lace or shoes that kill my feet." I don't then see the commercial and say, "Oh alright, it IS acceptable for me to dress that way. Yay!" Instead, the message that is given is..."It is VITAL and or ESSENTIAL that I dress that way in order to catch the eye of a man. This is what I MUST do." Do you see what I am saying?
This message you've given today is not new. It's been preached a million times. I've heard it over and over. Maybe you didn't hear it because it wasn't directed towards you. Trust me...us women have HEARD it plenty of times. I can remember when I was a little kid the pastor saying, "If a woman puts her wears on the auction block it can be bought." Meaning...if she dresses like a slut someone can see her as such and BUY....take the word buy however you want because it was meant for many ways...check her out, ask her out...MAKE her go "out."
There was an article on CNN about a month ago that said all these women dressing the way they do was causing EARTHQUAKES!!!!!! Trust me...the message you gave today has been TAUGHT. I want desperately to drive home that the message that has never been taught is the message to the MEN. They have walked around through life with no responsibility and getting pats on the back for every notch on their belt. I use to love the show Sex and The City...yeah..I did, lol! Miranda was the successful lawyer with a nice apartment. She said, "when a man is 35, successful with a nice apartment and single he is considered a cood catch. If a woman is 35, single, successful and has her own apartment she is considered tragic." Her words are so true. We have ALWAYS lived in a society of double standards and THIS is more of it.
I submit to you a new tactic. START with the boys...because there isn't much more that can be said to us women that we haven't already heard. It serves no purpose when we go out into the real world and see that everything we were taught does not apply. It does not apply because it is wrong teaching...it IS correct teaching...the reason it does not apply is because it is a half hearted message. Without the other half it returns void.
Onamission
Let's take a step back for a moment. I speak what thus saith the Lord. It does not concern me whether I am believed or not, because God will send people my way who He wants me to address. I do what the Lord tells me. That is the faith that I have. I also believe that every single book written in the bible was written by men inspired by God, hence what thus saith the Lord.
ReplyDeleteThis site is intended to offer guidance to everyday matters from a spiritual perspective. If it helps someone going through something, Amen. If someone needs a bit of a closer communication with me, they can request it.
Onamission, if you feel that any of my lessons were not sound or taken out of context, please make it known. Regarding whether I started off with females or males does not take away from this fact; both females and males are not being taught the right things hence their behavior.
One thing I've learned is a person's life experience will affect how they see and hear things. The bible states that we are to teach our young. If you disagree with that then offer your opinion. However reading your post, it more points to you having issue not only with the delivery but because I chose to address the females first. In my opinion, and it is only based on all the information you typed, is that there is an inner hurt that was triggered by this post. A solution for that will require a deeper communication. Amen
This will be my last post on this string because I do not want to argue and I certainly do not want to offend you.
ReplyDeleteI just read your post and my husband said, "I know you and he doesn't. I can understand why he would think that and some of it might be true. But at this point it doesn't seem he will get what you are saying."
You are right in that our life experiences affect how we see things, but you say that as if your own life experiences do not affect how YOu see things. You have lived the life of a man...not the life of a woman. Until my husband married me and had a little girl brought into his life he did not take notice of the things we have discussed here. We laugh when we go to watch a movie or show that he use to like and then some inappropriate thing pops up and he says, "OMG I didn't remember that being there." I laugh and say "see...." When one has new life experiences...like raising a young female they will start to see things they didn't see before. Just wait until that little girl of yours gets a little older and comes home telling you what the boys say at school.
As for the thus saith the Lord stuff. I think my point was valid and a good one. I think believing that what you say is always from God is dangerous. You believe it to be...but surely you don't think your word is infalible. You are speaking from how you understand the scriptures. It is your yoke that you are preaching. Any time a minister teaches and people follow their teaching, it becomes the minister's yoke. This has always been. the rabbis taught the scriptures and not all rabbis agreed. Whomever followed that rabbi took on that rabbi's yoke. Jesus said his yoke was easy. He taught mercy in contrast to the "law." Then...his followers, Peter and the likes went out and preached and they preached based on their understanding of what Jesus, their own Rabbi, taught them...but... with their own life experiences affecting their message and thus it became their yoke. These followers of Jesus...and then Paul who came after...did not always agree with the other's yoke. Peter wanted everyone circumsized and Paul said it was a noose around the people's neck. Did Peter not understand Jesus? Did he understand but just change it because Paul made a really good point?
I posted a link on the front of my site to this subject becaues I am so glad you've brought this point up. It speaks to the issues that would have led many of the women on my site to do the things they did. I do not disagree with teaching the women. What I am telling you is that it is, has and will continue to be taught. It's not lacking. It's there!!! Because you are not a woman and have not given this issue as much thought in the past as you have in the past month probably points to why you think it is not being taught to women. It IS. I'm telling you it is a mixed message because this half lesson being put forth by mostly male pastors does not hold up in life when the other half isn't taught and thereofre their lesson to women is voided out by the uneducated boys and men.
I'm not upset that you started with the women. I'm hoping to let you know that we've heard it. Tell us something we haven't heard...tell the boys.
Onamission you are my friend and will remain so. As I stated, my message is two parts hence Teach the youth (females) So what comes next is the deeper and more profound one, but the strength has now been take away. Nonetheless it is what it is. Thank you always for sharing a thought provoking exchange of posts.
ReplyDeleteOnamission
ReplyDeleteYou are correct the males need to be taught also. However, as women it is our duties to teach the young women how to identify these types of men. You see if they are taught properly to then they will not have to belittle themselves to adjust to what these men desire.
If the men are asking for this and the women are giving it to them, then why would the men change their ways. The women need to understand that they SHOULD not lower their standards, lower their self respect or self esteem so that I man can notice them.. If this is what they are doing then they are attracting the wrong kind of man who will only satisfy their flesh.
If us women stand firm on our beliefs and values then, maybe just maybe the men will see the woman for who she is and not someone they can use for whatever they want. The young ladies need to be taught these values and hold on to them..
“You stated that when you were in school, you had to change your attire in order to be notice by boys.” This is a perfect example here. If the women are willing to change to what the men desire them to be, then, why should the men change their ways.. Hey, if they can get it without changing, why change.
As a woman myself, I will not lower my standards are self-respect for any man. I don’t care how handsome he is or how wealthy he is.. And this is what I will teach my daughter, nieces, grand nieces etc.. See this is what our young girls find attractive. What these men can give them instead of have the self-respect to go out there and get it themselves.
My thing is, blaming the men, the fathers, etc is just and excuse. The young girls need to be taught to love themselves and not what some men can do for them. They are some good men out there, but for the ones that want what you describe, we the ladies are in control if they get it or not.. Are we gonna stand firm on our beliefs or are we going to give in to the men, media, magazines etc and advertise ourselves for them..
What we as women can do is start teaching the young girls this and who know eventually the Men will get it..
JJ
JJ,
ReplyDeleteExcellent and valid point. It is similar to black men blaming white men and racism for their short comings. Accountability is not always one sided. Very good point of view.