I used to love going to the club. I would be in the club Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Act III in the Bronx right off of E238th street and White Plains Rd was the spot. I would bring my toothbrush in a bag, so when I leave the club, I go straight to work, hit the restroom, and brush my teeth. I did this routinely for as long as I could remember. Then one morning, a Sunday morning, when I was coming home from the club, I stopped and got some White Castles. Something I normally would not do, knowing I was going to have Pizza later on in the day. You see it was football season, and I had to have my Pizza when watching football. I remember sneaking in the apartment, at least trying to sneak in, and my wife stuck her head out of the bedroom and looked at me with disgust. She was pregnant with my daughter, and my little over a year old son, might have gotten up when I came in. As I sat in the living room and began to check Cablevision to see who would be playing later, I heard his little feet coming down the hallway. I could hear him sucking on his bop. That is what he called a pacifier. He came and joined me on the living room floor. He spat the bop out as a cue for me to give him some of what I was eating. I broke off a bit of the mini burger and gave him some. I am not sure how much time had passed, but I remember just sighing. My son startled me because he sighed also. I looked down at him, and we stared at each other for a moment before he stuck his bop back in his mouth and fixed his eyes on the T.V. At that moment by mental eye opened.
I surveyed the room and began to feel disgusted. I asked myself what am I doing? This can’t be it. I have a college degree. Why am I living like this? Why am I putting my family through this? How is it possible for my wife and I to make $110-$120k together a year and living from paycheck to paycheck? It was God who answered my question in the form of a sigh from my son. My mind was not right. I had the wrong thoughts to serve as a guide to my actions. I never went to a club again. The bible states, “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.” (Php 4:8-9)
The Apostle Paul gave us a checklist on what should be on our minds. If our thoughts are structured around negative things, then our vision will be clouded. The things we hear will be filtered. These negative thoughts will then bring forth negative speech. The bible states “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Pr 23:7) In essesence, negative thoughts will birth, negative speech, which will manifest into negative actions. The Apostle Paul expressed to the Chruch of Philippi that if they practice what he taught, and mimic how he led by example, that the God of peace will be with them. The God of peace. My life was a mess. What I thought was fun was ruining me financially. I disregarded how I seen Christians live, and ignored when I was witnessed to. Are things chaotic in your life? Does it seem like you can never overcome? What have your thoughts been like lately? Have you been there before? Are you there now? It may just be that the God of peace is not with you. If it is not the God of peace, then which god is it? Amen!