I was daydreaming the other day as I was preparing my day for the work ahead. I was thinking about my life back when I was running the streets and comparing it to now. I then attempted to look into the future to see myself as a pastor of a church, passionately preaching the word of God to my parishioners. Then my mind shot backwards again. I was kind of upset, because I liked what I was seeing when I was looking into my desired future. However, I could not get out of my vision of my past. I was in the fourth grade, and I was the class clown. I remember my teacher, Mrs. Fink telling me how I needed to shape up and stop making a fool of myself. I remember it as though it was yesterday. I remember specifically thinking, “whatever Mrs. Fink, the class laugh at what I do. I am popular. You are the fool for thinking incorrectly.” Yes, Sean the class clown. What was so interesting is that she never told my mother.
I continued to be the class clown, and she continued to warn me of my behavior. It was the same from her, and it was the same from me. She announced a field trip that would be coming up in a few weeks. I was excited to go. I was thinking about how I can make the class laugh when we were on the trip. One day I angered Mrs. Fink. I began to make the sounds of flatulence when her back was turned. The class was in stitches. She turned around and did not yell at me, but yelled at the class. She said “some of you will not be going on this trip.” Everybody’s attitude changed. I could not get anybody to laugh at me. Not one. It got to the point where no one would even talk to me. I made an error and touched one kid to get his attention, and he yelled at me. Mrs. Fink separated me with haste. I was at a table all by myself. The class rooms were bigger back then. I was in a classroom with 20-30 kids, but I felt alone. Then the trip came, and I was the only one who did not go. I sat in another class the whole day just feeling miserable. I was abandoned and it was all my doing.
Mrs. Fink did not fail me. I failed myself. She warned me over and over again, and I chose not to take heed. She then allowed me to remain in my foolishness because she knew how she was going to punish me. God warns us in a similar manner. The bible states “For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man--and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things. Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.”
There are those who sit back and wonder just like I did. They wonder on things like the beauty of the sun, moon, and stars. They watch nature’s behavior. They see the destruction of natural disasters. They see doctors work on the body, and see the complexities and say how this is so. All of these things point to a higher power. Then they hear of people gathering to learn about this higher power, but because some of the things intrude on their life, they willfully reject them. They carry on with their lives and may even go far as mocking that higher power, even though when in private they are in awe. They do not even know they are giving audience to the enemy. Due to their continued willful ignorance God abandoned them to act out their own lusts and corruptions. The end result is they will die in their iniquity and their home will be in Hades. They are without excuse.
I learned a harsh lesson at such a young age. Abandonment is not a good feeling. Although I did not act up again in that class or any other class, I still had to be warned over the years. By the grace of God, I got it right before God abandoned me and left me to my iniquities. This should give us pause and reconsider how we proceed from this day forward. Amen!